Revised essay example

Striking problems are a tired, like-everyone-else’s opening that will not catch the reader or let the reader know right away there is an interesting voice in this piece; a weak ending; a bit of rambling or disorder in the whole essay; and spots where there is need for more vivid and specific detail.

How to write an essay introduction. Published on February 4, 2019 by Shona McCombes. Revised on July 17, 2020. A good introduction paragraph is both engaging and informative. The main goals of your introduction are to: Catch your reader’s attention and interest. Give context and background on your topic. Set up the focus and purpose of your ...

This example guides you through the structure of an essay. It shows how to build an effective introduction, focused paragraphs, clear transitions between ideas, and a strong conclusion. Each paragraph addresses a single central point, introduced by a topic sentence, and each point is directly related to the thesis statement.

To see the actual revision, go to “Revising Your College Application Essay Can make A Real Difference.” The admission essay is an important step in the college application process just as preparing to answer basic questions during the college interview is. Tip!